Oh the joy!

It has been a while since I have blogged but I just didn't have it in me.  I have been physically and emotionally exhausted.  I really want to share the story of Mabry's entry and departure from this world.  We were admitted to the hospital around 6am on July 31st.  My poor doctor had been on call the night before but had luckily gotten a little sleep.  The process began and at one point my water was broken but due to the polyhydraminos, we needed something to catch the enormous amount of water.  My husband and I joked with the nurse and doctor that we needed a swimming pool but in all seriousness we could have used one.  At first, Brian (the doctor) and myself (the nurse) were fascinaed by how much fluid was draining.  We joked about measuring it and finally had the doctor and nurse convinced we needed to measure the amount of fluid.  I had been carrying around just a little under 5 liters of fluid!!!  That is 2.5 bottles of pop!!!!!  As the fluid started draining I could instantly take a deep breath.  It was so weird, I hadn't been able to do that in several weeks.  It felt strange to be able to take a deep breath.  My belly was instantly sooo much smaller.  I actually looked more like 33 weeks pregnant instead of 40+ weeks or as I said (what I would look like pregnant with twins).  So, needless to say, we were able to find some humor in our circumstances AND we were surrounded by amazing friends and ALL of our immediate family.  We were so blessed! 
It was a long day, but luckily I had lots of friends in and out, along with almost all of our family. As per my norm with my other kids, I did not progress quickly.  I really don't need to go into a long detailed laboring experience so I am going to skip to her birth.  I had started shaking and vomitting, which my nurse said could be signs of transitioning (baby coming) but she told me I would feel pressure down there.  Well, I had been sitting up for several hours so all of my epidural medicine had made my bottom completely numb.  I was still having abdominal pain but couldn't feel any pressure, so I laid the head of my bed down.  Still shaking and having quite a bit of pain despite increasing my epidural, all of a sudden I could feel down there again and FELT PRESSURE.  The texts started blowing up people's phones.  KC, my amazing friend and photographer, my family to get the kids up there ASAP and some friends. Remember, we had no idea how much time we would have with her and I was only 33 wks.  Once I realized I wasn't making it up and was feeling lots of pressure - I started crying.  It was time!  I was not ready but I was ready.  I was nervous, I was excited, I was scared, and I was sad.  I was also so blessed to have my doctor at the hospital on his post call day that he came to my bedside within 10 min to tell me she was right there and it was time.  They started prepping me and the room.  It seemed to go by so fast and I was so worried that Carson (my oldest son) wouldn't make it back to the hospital in time or my friend KC wouldn't make it to take photographs. They were just about ready for me to push when I asked the Dr and nurses if they would step out for just a minute so my husband and I could pray.  My Dr said sure but had to check one more time to make sure she wasn't already coming out on her own - she wasn't thankfully!  So after they stepped out Brian grabbed my hand and started crying.  He couldn't stop.  I asked him if he wanted me to pray and he just nodded yes.  I prayed to God thanking him for finally letting us meet our daughter!  I asked for peace and I cried out for TIME - precious time.  I asked he would give us time to enjoy her, time for our family and friends to meet her!!! HE HEARD MY CRY!!!!!  She was literally out in 3 measly pushes.  The Dr placed her on my abdomen. She wasn't wiped off before being given to me so I noticed for the first time how bloody babies really are when they first come out but I didn't care.  I rubbed her little tummy and head.  I had a friend ask me several days later when we were alone - what was the first thing you thought when you saw her?  Without even stopping to think I said PRETTY!  Then I said she looked a lot better than I was expecting (with all her genetic abnormalities).  She was so beautiful!  Both Brian and I were overwhelmed with JOY!  I can't even explain it - I had no tears - I had smiles.  God blessed me with this amazing beautiful baby girl!  She was so precious.  Yes, she had some visible abnormalities but to me she was perfect and I am not going to lie I was a little nervous about how she would look and would I be able to see past the abnormalities  - but I did.  Every single one of them!  She was gorgeous and I was so happy!  Carson got to come see her first and he just loved her too!  He smiled!  He kissed her head, he touched her head, hands and feet.  He held her in his arms.  He was so proud to be her big brother!
Next, family and friends came in to see her.  Remember how I said that GOD HEARD MY CRY? Well, everyone there got to hold her, watch her, look at her toes and hands, trade blankets and headbows and listen to her coo. I watched everyone's faces as they held her so happy that they got to see my beautiful daughter.  Our Sunday school teacher prayed over Mabry and her precious life that she had shared with all of us and you (as you have read and followed her story).  She was born on July 31, 2013 at 09:10pm.  She weighed 4lbs 5oz and was 13in long.  I have to tell you we were so blessed, but I kept watching the clock just waiting in anticipation, 10:10pm she was still alive and breathing, 10:40, still alive and breathing, 11:10 still alive and breathing.  It had been 2hrs and she was still alive - what a miracle!  12:20 she had been on earth for 2 days - July 31 and now August 1.  GOD IS SO GOOD!  But she didn't stop there!  A little after 12 I noticed she kept grimacing and I didn't want her to be in pain so my hospice nurse came in and gave her some pain medicine, which seemed to calm her down.  Another hour or two later she seemed a little more fussy and I got a little worried so I tried giving her a drop of milk.  Finally after being alive for 5 HOURS she cried (which with her poor lung development was impressive), I called the hospice nurse back in because I couldn't take her being upset and we tried to problem solve what was wrong.  She then looked at me and said, "Have you checked her diaper?"  I wanted to laugh!  I still got to have a "bad mommy moment" before she went to heaven.  I never expected her to live long enough to even change a diaper!  My husband took her to the warmer and we found that she had pooped!  That was funny in itself but on top of that we didn't really know how to wipe a girl!  We have two boys!  I am thankful for the humor at different times during her short time with us and I don't feel guilty or bad that I missed the obvious - it is all part of her story!
  At around 3:00am Brian was struggling to stay awake, I sat holding her in my arms while I talked to my sister.  I even had to tell her if I fall asleep grab her!!!  I had already caught Brian asleep with her twice!  So many times during the night we had thought she stopped breathing and she would trick us and take a deep breath right as the hospice nurse would enter the room.  I finally noticed at 3:20 her breathing had slowed way down and then less and less.  Finally around 3:36AM I reached down and held my hand to her chest and no more breaths.

Brian and I both kissed her goodbye and called the hospice nurse to confirm, who listened for a heartbeat and confirmed that she was gone.
To be continued:  I cannot finish typing anymore tonight. I am tired and weary but really want to share her LIFESONG with you all since you have followed us this far.  Please bear with me I will try to finish it soon!  I have so many amazing pictures I want to share!!!